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Writing Samples
Band 5

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT SPENDING MONEY ON DEVELOPING THE TECHNOLOGY FOR SPACE EXPLORATION IS UNJUSTIFIABLE AND THERE ARE MORE BENEFICIAL WAYS TO SPEND THIS MONEY.

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
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TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? Among all the achievements that veritably defined humanity in the 20th century, few were as enthusiastically embraced and celebrated as
space
Use synonyms
 travel.
However
Linking Words
, in recent years, the public has become much less thrilled about the achievements of
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
. A school of thought holds that the money spent on expeditions to other planets is hard to justify when there are many other issues on earth that call for prodigious financial resources. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 thinking.
First
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 of all, I find the whole argument dubious - the very definition of what constitutes something worthy of taxpayers' money is nebulous. If direct impact on the population is a criterion, certainly
defense
(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies
defence
 spending should be shaved off, given how citizens' lives are neither
immediately
Suggestion
immediate
 nor visibly enhanced by the colossal investments in the military. If return on investment is called into question, surely
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 and education should be the
first
Linking Words
 to be considered for budget cuts. Take the U.S.
as
Suggestion
As
 an example. For a nation that has invested so heavily in making education and
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 accessible, an overwhelming number of people are still bemoaning the extortionate cost of college and medical services. Yet,
defense
(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies
defence
, healthcare and education have historically accounted for enormous chunks of
state budget
Suggestion
the state budget
 and will likely continue to do so.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is unfair to say
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 is less deserving of government funds compared to other sectors.
Second
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, I fervently believe spending on
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 is non-negotiable for a multitude of reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the applications of our
space
Use synonyms
 missions and technologies are wide-ranging, from daily conveniences
such
Linking Words
 as GPS to scientific feats like predicting changing climatic patterns.
In addition
Linking Words
,
space
Use synonyms
 travel enables our quest for new inhabitable territories, which is becoming a priority for mankind in
light
Suggestion
the light
 of the boom in global population and the gradual decay of our planet. At the same time, the facilities that have successfully been installed in outer
space
Use synonyms
 help advance science as some experiments can only be conducted in extra-terrestrial environments.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least,
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 promotes international collaboration, as evidenced by how it unites nations who are
at a
expresses position, direction or location, or point in time
at
at at
 odds with each other on ideology under the banner of a collective good for mankind. In conclusion, I believe
expenditure
Suggestion
the expenditure
 for
space
Use synonyms
 travel is perfectly justifiable.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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