Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Shopping has become a trend these days. Young people have been attracted more than the
olders
Correct your spelling
holders
and it is their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
hobby. While
its
Change the pronoun
it
has been argued that
this
practice
Correct your spelling
practise
should be restricted to some extent and the young generation needs to be motivated towards other things. I completely agree with the statement that how
this
habit is not fruitful for them and the methods to address it which is discussed below.
To begin
with, the world has been globalised and people are moving from one part of the world to another in the search of
Add an article
a
better life where they get a fat paycheck that enhances their disposable income.
This
way, the earners have
the
Remove the article
apply
more resources to purchase the
unnecessay
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
necessary
things.
For example
, it has been noticed that in
Add an article
the
present scenario, a young person is earning minimum $2000 per month which is quite enough to have a huge buy after meeting the necessities whereas, the earnings of the older people were just to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
their basic needs.
Moreover
, with the invention of
the
Remove the article
apply
mobile phones and social media,
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
are now more fashion
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
following their peers and celebrities. Everyone prefers to have
a
Remove the article
apply
branded products nowadays so, the young generation of the today concentrate more on shoppings.
Further
, the manufacturers use the trick to get customers attracted towards their goods where they highly finance in marketing particularly advertisements that help them in earning higher profits.
However
, focusing just on buying things according to new fashions or trends does not lead to any productivity for the individuals as well as for the nationality as a whole. There are
Change the article
a
the
number of activities to keep a person busy in the daily routine and
first
is, participating in the physical activities that help a person to maintain his/her health and enhance the environment of discipline. Sports
also
introduce the team spirit among
among
Remove the redundancy
apply
generation.
Second
, the early age is the age to make the career so, it can be suggested that the youth must focus on their upcoming years of life rather than wasting time on leisure.
Finally
, purchasing goods without any need does not benefit
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
anyone whereas giving
this
time to the society can result in the betterment in others lives. In conclusion,
this
habit is not easy to change easily but still
Add a comma
,
a try can
Change the verb form
be
given where the people should be encouraged to
ustilize
Correct your spelling
utilize
utilise
their time wisely on some productive work.
Submitted by sharanjitkaur410 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pastime
  • encouraged
  • useful activities
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • sense of accomplishment
  • satisfaction
  • social interaction
  • bonding
  • escaping
  • daily routine
  • stress
  • instant gratification
  • pleasure
  • keeping up
  • trends
  • fashion
  • exploring
  • products
  • experiences
  • boosting
  • self-confidence
  • supporting
  • local businesses
  • economy
  • discovering
  • personal style
  • preferences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: