Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

It is true that food and

drink

with high levels of

sugar

can lead to many health issues. Some

people

argue that the prices of these

products

should be regulated to be even higher than they currently are in order to let

people

have a healthier consumption. In my opinion,

however

, I completely disagree with

this

argument, and I think there are various ways can tackle the problem. On the one hand, I believe that sugary

products

should not be made more expensive for two main reasons.

Firstly

, most

people

have their own sense of consumption, which means that they have their own habits about what they eat and

drink

Therefore

, making prices more expensive will not have any impact on their consumption.

Secondly

, many

people

might not be aware that they are having sugary

products

. The rising costs to buy these

products

will only make

people

feel that inflation has become more and more severe recently,

thus

causing a negative outcome.

On the other hand

, there are more effective ways to discourage

people

from consuming high-

sugar

products

For instance

, manufacturers should have a clear disclosure of ingredients in their

products

on the labels.

People

will consume less

sugar

if they witness that the food or

drink

they have contains

such

high amounts of

sugar

. But I think the most pragmatic approach is that food and

drink

companies should aim at producing fewer

products

with high levels of

sugar

. In conclusion, I believe more expensive prices will not discourage

people

from sugary

products

, and there are more practical means to address

this

problem.

Submitted by arthur752102 on Mon May 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to introduce more varied sentence structures to enhance the complexity and fluency of your writing.

Task Achievement

Providing specific examples or data could strengthen your argument and make your case more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, contributing to its easy readability and understanding.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your use of linking words to connect ideas across paragraphs is effective, enhancing the logical flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

You clearly addressed the prompt, demonstrating a complete understanding of the task requirements.

Task Achievement

You developed and supported your main points effectively, showing a comprehensive grasp of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A group of people believe that retailers and industries should be responsible for reducing the waste of packing their products. Another group think that the customers should assume this responsibility, by avoiding buying goods with a lot of containers. Firstly, it is a fact that materials used to pack products that people buy in everyday life, such as paper or plastic, are a critical problem for the environment. These kinds of materials normally are non-biodegradable and the final destination can be rivers, oceans, and forests.
4.5
band
In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.
Eduaction plays a crucial role in people's lives. At present in many nations, the pupils can work while they are studied in school and college due to the financial problem as well as getting practical experience. I consider this is the best plan for students. This essay shall discuss it briefly in the following paragraphs.
5
band
Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?
It is generally said that youngsters always follow the path of eminent celebs, therefore it is the onus of celebrities to advertise hygienic food as well as drinks and unhealthy things such as cigarettes should not be promoted. In my opinion, it can be appropriate for the public but inaccurate for social influencers.
8
band
Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments. Is this a positive or negative development?
In many parts of the world, there is a growing focus on building houses, and these developments often come at the expense of a city’s natural habitat, such as parks and farmlands. While this can help address housing shortages and revitalize areas, the loss of green zones in cities can negatively affect the surroundings and people’s mental well-being. Therefore, it is a negative improvement overall.
7.5
band
Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some say that the environment can be improved only by governments and large enterprises and that individuals are useless for this purpose. I agree that the government and large enterprises play a key role to make the environment better than it is now.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?

Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments. Is this a positive or negative development?

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.