IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Health experts believe that walking is a good exercise for health. However, people are walking less nowadays. Why is this happening? How can people be encouraged to walk more.

#health #experts #exercise #people
Regular physical exercise is a vital part of maintaining our
health
 and wellbeing.
Health
 specialist reckons that
although
 walking is good for
health
, people are walking much lesser than their parents and grandparents used to do.
This
 essay intends to look into the cause and suggests some ways to mitigate
this
 problem. To commence with, there is a myriad of reasons why people are not walking now.
Firstly
, people are so busy in hustle and bustle of city life that they do not have time for themselves. As everyone is running in the rat race of earning more money,
therefore
 they forget to take care
Verify preposition usage
of
 oh their own
health
.
Secondly
, folks do not feel safe to walk on roads.
This
 is because, people are driving rashly on roads, albeit some youngsters who not have licence drive cars and other vehicles which is really precious for
Add an article
the
lives of pedestrians. To illustrate, recently news published in
Add an article
the
Times of India newspaper that four pedestrians died and two injured, who is stricken by a car, which was driven by a drunk driver.
Thus
, there is so many news on
this
 topic, which instils fear among citizens to walk.  So is there any way to encourage people to walk more? Of course yes,
first
 and the foremost Is that people have to be made aware of the potential
health
 benefits associated with regular walking. Seminars should be conducted in which they learn that walking is good for their longevity, brain, memory, blood pressure, fitness and general
health
.
Moreover
, strict laws should be imposed by authorities on drink and drive and
further
 redesign the cities and have pavements on sides of the roads for people who wish to walk.  After pondering over the topic, I can conclude that there are many reasons why people do not walk,
however
Add a comma
,
 it can be solved by the steps taken by the government and individuals, as it has a lot of benefits.
Submitted by sabby2412 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: