It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It has been highlighted the importance for all counties and cities to have green areas and peaceful places to enjoy being outdoors.
Furthermore
, different studies have shown the impact of having contact with nature as a daily routine. The following essay will discuss my point of view in
the benefits and drawbacks of the statement.
On the one hand, it is well-known that having places to release yourself in an open space brings a huge list of benefits for your health. Change preposition
on
Firstly
, it has been researched that being in touch with the natural environment creates brain connections that trigger hormones of happiness, such
as dopamine and serotonin. As a clear example, it can be mentioned a 6-year-old kid who develops an extrovert personality due to
the games he has invented while
playing outdoors with his friends. It shows the importance of having outdoor spaces that will give them the opportunity to expand their minds and personalities.
On the other hand
, while
these places can have a positive impact on people's life, nowadays are also
a hazard due to
the lack of safety. Unfortunately, most of the green squares are unsupervised and criminality has increased. In addition
, it might be considered negligence from their guardians if a minor is playing in these spaces without supervision, which can lead to parents not allowing them to play if they are not present. As an example, back in the day, kids were allowed to be outdoors on their own to play, which increased their creativity and other skills; however
, up to date, kids cannot fully enjoy the freedom of using parks because is not safe. Which results in shy and introverted children due to
a lack of contact with people and nature.
To sum up
, it is more likely to rely on squares and green areas if these can assure the safety of people. Furthermore
, I yet still agree that the government of each country should provide open spaces for the population of all ages to enjoy the benefits of being outdoors.Submitted by amrp17 on
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language
Ensure consistent usage of advanced vocabulary and grammatical structures to elevate the essay.
structure
While the introduction does a great job of setting the context, try to be more specific about the benefits and drawbacks you'll discuss to create a clearer roadmap for the reader.
content
Provide more concrete examples and evidence to support your points, especially when discussing drawbacks related to safety.
content
The essay effectively introduces the topic and clearly outlines the benefits and drawbacks of having public outdoor spaces.
structure
Logical structure and coherent flow are maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.
summary
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reiterates the importance of having outdoor public spaces.
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