IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

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There is no denying that technology changed our manner to communicate with other people. Some specialists say to use
o
Change the article
the

It appears that the phrase only Internet does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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nly
I
Add an article
the

It appears that an article is missing before the word Internet. Consider adding the article.

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nternet to interact with other individuals could harm our emotions.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, other people claim it is more practical. Millions of people
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject Millions. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 adopted technology to communicate, with both positive and negative outcomes, though I tend to believe the drawbacks are greater than the benefits. The obvious disadvantage is that users are creating more and more virtual relationships, and no real contact appears necessary. To illustrate, there are couples who are in a serious
relation
Replace the word
relationship

The word relation doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 and do not even know each other personally.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we have families and friends that are becoming distant to each other and lacking emotional connection. Research
have
Change the verb form
has

The verb have does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 shown it is crucial to
h
Add an article
a
the

The noun phrase human being seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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uman being to interact face-to-face,
in addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, by reducing time spent online, people were able to diminish depression, anxiety, and loneliness. Another drawback is that people are becoming addicted
on
Verify preposition usage
to

It appears that the preposition on may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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 social media platforms,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they spend most of their free time in front of a screen, which could harm them physically and emotionally.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, teenage way of life has completely changed from what it was twenty years ago. Now there is a dramatic decrease in their ability to interact with others on a speaking level. There are,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some advantages. Currently is faster and more practical to communicate and do business with people from other countries. One clear example is that you can study from home, using services like Skype or Zoom, which allow you to take classes with teachers from all over the world. To conclude, to
be connect
Change the verb form
connect

It appears that the form of the verb connect does not work with be in this sentence.

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 with people and truly understand their feeling is essential to human being’s life and it is only possible when we are eye to eye. Social media platforms alienate us from our families and people we love.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
What to do next:
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