Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contributions to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The payment of complex works or recreational works has been an ongoing debate in recent years.In my opinion,the workers who have more technics should have higher income,but sports and entertainment are

also

very important nowadays. On the one hand,there are several reasons to support why advocates think athletes or movie stars should get more profits.

Firstly

,some celebrities in recreation and famous athletes have huge fan groups,which create significant market demand. It can

also

stimulate consumption and promote economic development, so these contributions can’t be ignored.

Secondly

,the importance of exercise and amusement can’t be denied.

For example

,when teachers feel stressed in their work,they can do some sports or join in concert to release their pressure and let them come back to their work full of energy.

On the other hand

,I do believe that it is understandable to pay more compensation to professional workers.

To begin

with, teachers play a beneficial role in our society, which means they impart knowledge and experience to children. To be more specific, they instil ethical values into students, teaching them how to behave and set lifelong goals for them, motivating them to devote more time and energy to reaching their goals. These qualities are vital to the development of both individuals and societies.

Likewise

, doctors and nurses are

also

very important professions in a country.

For instance

, they made great contributions to the recovery from COVID-19, in which many people lost their lives. At that time, these brave people saved other people without thinking about their personal safety.

This

is the reason why I think those complex professions deserve higher income. In conclusion,

although

celebrities can promote economic development and inspire people’s spirits, those complex jobs can contribute more to advancing human society, so it is worth it for them to have higher salaries.

Submitted by 52YANGYANG on Sat Jan 27 2024

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structure

Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to establish the main idea.

development

Develop your main points with more specific examples and data to support your argument.

cohesion

Use a variety of connective words and phrases to help link ideas and paragraphs together more cohesively.

task response

Fully address the task by providing a balanced argument with a clear opinion, ensuring you explain the extent of your agreement or disagreement throughout the essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contributions to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Some People prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding changes. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

In Some Countries,More and more people are becoming interested in finding out abut the history of the house or building they live in what are the reasons for this? How can people research this?