Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds

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A lot of

people

believe that governments and other organizations invested too many resources in protecting wild lives and birds.

However

, from my perspective, animal

protection

merits attention and would never be too much because that has enormous benefits on human

kinds

Correct your spelling

beings

show examples

. First of all, preserving wild

animals

is beneficial to biological diversity.

As a result

, the ecosystem would remain in a stable condition, which helps alleviate global warming

along with

reducing extreme

weathers

Fix the agreement mistake

weather

show examples

Thus

people

could enjoy clean air and beautiful nature scenes from the

protection

For example

, a group

Change preposition

from

show examples

Sydney University

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

compared two areas with the same latitude, which are Sydney and an underdeveloped coastal area in Africa. They found that the weather temperature in Sydney fluctuated more dramatically than

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

African area

where

Correct word choice

which

show examples

boasts larger wild

animals'

Change noun form

animals

show examples

conservations.

Secondly

, in the contemporary world, many fields create products and inventions by observing

animals

According to

a statistic provided by Harvard University, 60% of inventions per year in

American

Correct your spelling

America

show examples

inspired by

animals

For example

, the reason why the Hubble Telescope can turn around in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

outer space without consuming energy

Add a missing verb

is attributes

show examples

attributes

Replace the word

attributed

show examples

to a phenomenon found in cats. The famous Cat Falling Phenomenon

also

applied to a lot of areas and

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

contributed to a large proportion of the economic increase in the 20th century.

Thus

, protecting wild

animals

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

profitable. To summarize, though some

people

argue that wildlife receives excessive

protection

, I disagree with them.

Due to

profits

Correct article usage

the profits

show examples

that

people

can gain from preserving wild

animals

including high-quality environment and inventions, I,

therefore

, believe that

animals

deserve a large number of

protection

resources from human beings.

Submitted by yingchenyeh on Thu Sep 03 2020

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task response

Ensure the essay directly answers the essay prompt and fully discusses the topic.

coherence cohesion

Create clearer connections between ideas and use transition words to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecological balance
species extinction
wildlife conservation
sustainable development
ecosystem services
habitat destruction
endangered species
conservation efforts
natural heritage
human encroachment
poaching
genetic diversity
climate change
environmental stewardship
protection measures
wildlife sanctuary
biological significance
conservation biology
environmental advocacy

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Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many counties are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of government money?

In recent years a large number of highly skilled professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer countries are migrating to developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are a important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?