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Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds
A lot of
people
 believe that governments and other organizations invested too many resources in protecting wild lives and birds.
However
, from my perspective, animal
protection
 merits attention and would never be too much because that has enormous benefits on human
kinds
Correct your spelling
beings
show examples
. First of all, preserving wild
animals
 is beneficial to biological diversity.
As a result
, the ecosystem would remain in a stable condition, which helps alleviate global warming
along with
 reducing extreme
weathers
Fix the agreement mistake
weather
show examples
.
Thus
,
people
 could enjoy clean air and beautiful nature scenes from the
protection
.
For example
, a group
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 Sydney University
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
compared two areas with the same latitude, which are Sydney and an underdeveloped coastal area in Africa. They found that the weather temperature in Sydney fluctuated more dramatically than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 African area
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 boasts larger wild
animals'
Change noun form
animals
show examples
 conservations.
Secondly
, in the contemporary world, many fields create products and inventions by observing
animals
.
According to
 a statistic provided by Harvard University, 60% of inventions per year in
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
 inspired by
animals
.
For example
, the reason why the Hubble Telescope can turn around in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outer space without consuming energy
Add a missing verb
is attributes
show examples
attributes
Replace the word
attributed
show examples
 to a phenomenon found in cats. The famous Cat Falling Phenomenon
also
 applied to a lot of areas and
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contributed to a large proportion of the economic increase in the 20th century.
Thus
, protecting wild
animals
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 profitable. To summarize, though some
people
 argue that wildlife receives excessive
protection
, I disagree with them.
Due to
profits
Correct article usage
the profits
show examples
 that
people
 can gain from preserving wild
animals
 including high-quality environment and inventions, I,
therefore
, believe that
animals
 deserve a large number of
protection
 resources from human beings.
Submitted by yingchenyeh on

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task response
Ensure the essay directly answers the essay prompt and fully discusses the topic.
coherence cohesion
Create clearer connections between ideas and use transition words to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
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