IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that governments and other organizations invested too many resources in protecting wild lives and birds.
However
Linking Words
, from my perspective, animal
protection
Use synonyms
 merits attention and would never be too much because that has enormous benefits on human
kinds
Correct your spelling
beings
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. First of all, preserving wild
animals
Use synonyms
 is beneficial to biological diversity.
As a result
Linking Words
, the ecosystem would remain in a stable condition, which helps alleviate global warming
along with
Linking Words
 reducing extreme
weathers
Fix the agreement mistake
weather
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 could enjoy clean air and beautiful nature scenes from the
protection
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a group
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 Sydney University
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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compared two areas with the same latitude, which are Sydney and an underdeveloped coastal area in Africa. They found that the weather temperature in Sydney fluctuated more dramatically than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 African area
where
Correct word choice
which
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 boasts larger wild
Use synonyms
animals'
Change noun form
animals
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 conservations.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in the contemporary world, many fields create products and inventions by observing
animals
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 a statistic provided by Harvard University, 60% of inventions per year in
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
 inspired by
animals
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the reason why the Hubble Telescope can turn around in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outer space without consuming energy
Add a missing verb
is attributes
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attributes
Replace the word
attributed
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 to a phenomenon found in cats. The famous Cat Falling Phenomenon
also
Linking Words
 applied to a lot of areas and
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contributed to a large proportion of the economic increase in the 20th century.
Thus
Linking Words
, protecting wild
animals
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 profitable. To summarize, though some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that wildlife receives excessive
protection
Use synonyms
, I disagree with them.
Due to
Linking Words
profits
Correct article usage
the profits
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 can gain from preserving wild
animals
Use synonyms
 including high-quality environment and inventions, I,
therefore
Linking Words
, believe that
animals
Use synonyms
 deserve a large number of
protection
Use synonyms
 resources from human beings.

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task response
Ensure the essay directly answers the essay prompt and fully discusses the topic.
coherence cohesion
Create clearer connections between ideas and use transition words to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
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