Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people thought that people who work in the entertainment industry paid excessive money. They can be paid 10 or 100 times higher than people who work in essential fields like scientists, doctors, and teachers.
Although
we have already known that people who work in those substantial fields are more demanding for human existence rather than people who appear on our television.
First
of all, I would like to say that
this
essay totally agrees with
this
statement. The reason why I choose
this
is that the impact of some entertainers brings to our society. One of the most important thing about
this
is because some entertainers do not have the integrity or skills like their ancestor.
For instance
, the new stars are likely to cause more problems rather than making achievements or, which I can say is they are known because of their stupidity not because of their intelligence.
Therefore
, it is not worth
t
Add a pronoun
it
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o pay
Remove the space
apply
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a lot of money. Another reason is entertainers that are getting popular have the tendency to show off their wealth as well as their lifestyle, which I can say very toxic. These toxic environments are spreading all over the world through social media that can be easily accessed, and
then
, their fans will follow what their idols have done. Unfortunately,
this
bad influence will be a trend across the world.
Furthermore
, it may break down the morale of young people.
For example
, it is very common for idols to show to the public about how happy they are with their relationship status, yet, it drives the opinion of people that if they do not share their partner photos in social media, it means they are not happy. Even the reality is different. In a nutshell, I agree that entertainers are paid too much money, which leads them to use it whatever they like for nothing important just to show off.
Submitted by michellina594 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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