Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money

Many people thought that people who work in the entertainment industry paid excessive money. They can be paid 10 or 100 times higher than people who work in essential fields like scientists, doctors, and teachers.

Although

we have already known that people who work in those substantial fields are more demanding for human existence rather than people who appear on our television.

First

of all, I would like to say that

this

essay totally agrees with

this

statement. The reason why I choose

this

is that the impact of some entertainers brings to our society. One of the most important thing about

this

is because some entertainers do not have the integrity or skills like their ancestor.

For instance

, the new stars are likely to cause more problems rather than making achievements or, which I can say is they are known because of their stupidity not because of their intelligence.

Therefore

, it is not worth

Add a pronoun

show examples

o pay

Remove the space

apply

show examples

a lot of money. Another reason is entertainers that are getting popular have the tendency to show off their wealth as well as their lifestyle, which I can say very toxic. These toxic environments are spreading all over the world through social media that can be easily accessed, and

then

, their fans will follow what their idols have done. Unfortunately,

this

bad influence will be a trend across the world.

Furthermore

, it may break down the morale of young people.

For example

, it is very common for idols to show to the public about how happy they are with their relationship status, yet, it drives the opinion of people that if they do not share their partner photos in social media, it means they are not happy. Even the reality is different. In a nutshell, I agree that entertainers are paid too much money, which leads them to use it whatever they like for nothing important just to show off.

Submitted by michellina594 on Thu Sep 03 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefits, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.