THE GROWING NUMBER OF OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE IS PUTTING A STRAIN ON THE HEALTH CARE SYSTEM IN AN EFFORT TO DEAL WITH THE HEALTH ISSUE INVOLVED. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THE BESY WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM IS TO INTRODUCE MORE PHYSICAL EDUCATION LESSIONS IN THE SCHOOL CURRICULUM. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

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Introduction

Obesity among the people is booming due to the modern lifestyle revolution

that is

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affecting the health care system enormously. A group of people suggested that introducing fitness coaching since schooling to have a positive outcome in the future is to consider the best solution ever to tackle

this

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issue. In my opinion, I strongly believe that if a juvenile is aware of the essentialness of being fit, the health issues mitigate in the future.

Body · 1

To commence with,

firstly

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, by adding a subject of a physical workout in a school syllabus perhaps influence the children to adapt that in their daily

life

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. Because doing physical exercise regularly boost the immunity to fight against any disease in later

life

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For example

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, a renowned physician did a study of youth who did frequent workout during schooling and found that 70% of the youth are free from serious diseases nowadays like obesity, cholesterol.

Hence

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, it is beneficial for adolescence to have

such

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training while in an institution.

Body · 2

Another reason behind having physical training while in school is that it

also

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helps pupils to relax and focus more on their studies to obtain a desire for knowledge and success in

life

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. Because sufficient knowledge is the key to tackle all the menace that comes in

life

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For example

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, a survey had done by the experts and reported that the pupil performed well in the exam who used to do regular exercise to get rid of stress.

Therefore

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this

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could be the

second

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advantage of having physical activity in an institution.

Conclusion

In conclusion, involving physical activity as part of a study not only benefit the student to have a healthy

life

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ahead but

also

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assist them in achieving an accomplishment

further

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drsefalipatel

Sep 4, 2020

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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