The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, it has been observed that people shop online more often as compared to shopping at outlets in the local market. In my opinion, I agree that purchasing useful items via
Internet
is Add an article
the Internet
more
preferable Correct quantifier usage
apply
than
going out of the house and spending valuable time travelling to buy necessities. Change preposition
to
This
has resulted in heavy losses to brick and mortar
shops as fewer customers are attracted towards their goods and services.
It is observed that people in Add a hyphen
brick-and-mortar
this
generation are enthusiastic to spend
Change preposition
about spending
money
that they earn but they can't because of their hectic Correct article usage
the money
schedule
. Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
Therefore
, shopping through the Internet is preferred often as it can be done at one's leisure with just a click on a PC, laptop or mobile. To illustrate, people who have families to take care of and jobs to do, prefer relaxing at home on weekends and shop
online Wrong verb form
shopping
while
having fun with their near and dear ones.
Therefore
, due to
heavy
demand for online shopping, there are unlimited offers available to customers, which is difficult for stores to match. Correct article usage
the heavy
For example
, shop keepers
sell items, say wooden ones, for a small profit, at a fixed price. Correct your spelling
shopkeepers
While
on the Internet sellers offer discounts on card payments and free delivery options which helps customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
to
save.
Fix the infinitive
apply
To conclude
, even if the shops in towns and cities offer substantial discounts to the best of their knowledge it would still not be sufficient and high enough to draw customers away from online shopping.Submitted by Leena Kapoor on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay in a clear and logical manner. Your paragraphs should each present a single main idea that relates back to the overall argument. Additionally, use a range of linking words and cohesive devices to create a more seamless flow between sentences and ideas.
task achievement
Be sure to fully address the prompt by offering a balanced discussion of the topic. Include contrasting arguments or points of view to show a full understanding of the topic. Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and relevant supporting details to substantiate your arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite