some think that governments should tax unhealthy foods to encourage people to to eat healthier. To what extent do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some think that heavy-handed governmental taxation is the only way to compel healthier eating. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
makes rational sense, its actual effectiveness is questionable. Those
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
argue in favour of these
taxes
Use synonyms
can point to a logical chain of suppositions. Though
taxes
Use synonyms
on unhealthy foods are rare ,there is the occasional mandated price hike for sugary drinks and fast food ,smoking is an instructive corollary. Several decades after research showed that smoking causes cancer ,governments are able to push through legislation to tax cigarettes heavily. The result was that those already addicted to smoking continued to smoke but many
people
Use synonyms
did not pick up the habit
to begin
Linking Words
with. Proponents argue
this
Linking Words
would
also
Linking Words
be the case when it comes to foods known to cause cardiovascular disease ,diabetes and cancer
.many
Correct your spelling
Many
would eat them despite higher prices but the next generation would become more health conscious and that would
further
Linking Words
trickle down to their children . Though the above
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
is well reasoned,
people
Use synonyms
will stay buy luxuries. There is
strog
Correct your spelling
strong
evidence for
this
Linking Words
dating back centuries. After the war of independence from Britain, the newly formed United
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
instituted direly needed
taxes
Use synonyms
on luxuries
included
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
whiskey and chocolate .the
surpose
Correct your spelling
purpose
purposes
of the
taxes
Use synonyms
was to raise money ,not to lower consumption of those products. The unpopular acts were internally vindicated when
people
Use synonyms
continued to buy luxuries along the same growth trend ,enabling them to increase the national budget. Even though cutting down on purely pleasurable products makes dis disinterested sense,
people
Use synonyms
are more swayed by instant gratification
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
cold calculation . In conclusion,
taxes
Use synonyms
on unhealthy foods would not be an effective measure against their consumption.
Linking Words
Instead
Add a comma
Instead,
show examples
governments should invest more in healthy school lunches and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
healthy products more widely available to attack the problem at its root source.
Submitted by ougacheourdia890 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: