IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

There is a disagreement on the impact of increased business and culture contact between countries on a country's identity. What is your opinion?

#disagreement #impact #business #culture #contact #countries #country #identity
Undoubtedly, nowadays society wants to experiences different products that are available on the globe. People argue that expand in trading of industries and cultural values across the nations can harm the country's reputation. It will harm the identity of a country in various ways. To commence with, due to improving connections between any two territory, on the globe. A notion has to face negative as well as positive effects of that. To exemplify, increase in trade between the two province leads to rising in GPD
also
 known as Gross Domestic Product value, which helps the government in improving their public facilities coupled with the better education system for scholars.
However
,
this
 trend of advancement can harm the livelihood of local vendors. In India, at the time of Diwali, the Chinese lights take up the market completely and leave the native sellers with a very small market to sell their products.
Moreover
, culture plays an important role in telling the history and the traditional value of a state or city. But, due to growing commerce between the countries individuals are slowly and steadily forgetting about the roots of their culture and ethical values.
In addition
 to
this
, trade
also
 plays a role in dividing people from their families and community.
For instance
, adults do not follow their rituals in the same manner, in which their parents or grandparents use to follow. To summaries, agreed with the fact, that the industrialization has affected the identity of a sovereign state. Humans have forgotten about the value and ethics which was taught by their mentors and parents.
Submitted by pulkitkatira on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: