Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, the younger generation depends too much on technological devices and sources of entertainment
such
Linking Words
as video games.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is necessary to motivate them to take their
time
Use synonyms
in outdoor activities like playing sports. I completely agree with the given idea because computer games have a negative effect on children.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss why electronics are not good for children.
First
Linking Words
and foremost, people’s health is affected harmfully by almost all recent high-tech instruments like mobile phones,
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
,
therefore
Linking Words
, children should be warned to use less and less of those devices. Specifically, some research indicates that the number of children who have suffered from a variety of serious diseases like obesity, eyesight takes up an extremely high level in the world.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is essential to provide positive energy to children.
Additionally
Linking Words
, spending more
time
Use synonyms
in the open air with physical activities not only support children’s health but
also
Linking Words
develop various practical skills in them. Particularly, if children spend their
time
Use synonyms
taking part in activities and competition outside, they may make great progress in communication along with critical thinking ability. In conclusion, stimulating children to concentrate on physical activities plays a crucial role nowadays.
Besides
Linking Words
inside activities and school works, children should be encouraged to spend
time
Use synonyms
participating in other exercises, specifically outdoor workout.
In particular
Linking Words
, there are a wealth of advantages of physical movement in terms of not only strengthening children’s health but
also
Linking Words
their abilities.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: