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Band 7.5

Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #computers #entertainment #time #sports #games
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These days, it is irrefutable that technology has changed the way of living and doing things.
As a result
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, youngsters prefer to spend their time while playing video games on devices like smartphones, computers, and play stations. I, personally, agree with the statement and feel that children must play these sports and games outside their homes.
To begin
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 with, there could be many problems which one can face while playing video games on the internet. It is said that excess use of these activities will keep children away from the studies, which means that they will not grow their cognitive skills and always feel laziness.
Nevertheless
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, if they stay away from physical activities, there is a great chance that they gain weight very quickly, and above all, it could weaken their eyesight. To exemplify, a study conducted by the Cambridge School which reveals that around 60% of their students wear eyesight glasses.
On the other hand
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, outdoor activities can be very beneficial for the young generation.
This
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 will not only help pupils to stay physically fit but
also
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, they will enhance their technical and cognitive skills.
Furthermore
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, it is
also
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 proven that youngsters, who are fit and active in outside sports, tend to get better academic results.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by the Larkana Board shows that the students who are involved in curricular activities are wittier and more sagacious. To conclude and present my view, in
this
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 modern world, children should not adopt online games for entertainment purposes as it could lead them to numerous health issues.
However
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, it is the responsibility of parents and teachers to encourage a child to participate in outside activities as it helps them to stay healthy and energetic.
Submitted by MK on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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