It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #lifestyle #illness #treatment #people

Governments around the world incur taxes from their citizens to develop the country in several sectors,

such

as infrastructure, transport, education and medical facilities. It has been vastly developed in a couple of decades,

such

as high-speed transport to move goods fast, R&D investment for educational purposes and multi-storey buildings. As in the case of medical facilities, it is hard to predict the future and even a virus spread could cause collateral damage to the country. A proactive nation would get less impact, by guide their citizens to lead a healthy lifestyle. We can have a discussion on how a nation could be impacted by

Remove the article

apply

show examples

proactive and reactive behaviour.

First

and foremost, public money needs to be spent in a logical way,

such

as promoting a healthy lifestyle by constructing parks and encourage cycling by a separate lane.

For example

, England has a cycle lane on

its

Delete the pronoun

apply

show examples

most of the road to engage the people.

Secondly

, consumption of fast food has to be less promoted,

such

as advertisements and hoardings.

These

Change the determiner

This

show examples

ad attracts the people's interest, rather than the taste. At

last

, encourage proper diet would effectively create a healthy life and it would help governments, not to push the major share of its income to treat the ill people.

Submitted by bjbharathkumar on Sun Sep 06 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

211 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

preventive measures
chronic diseases
healthcare costs
public health campaigns
lifestyle-related illnesses
quality of life
health-conscious society
allocate funds
balanced healthcare system
comprehensive healthcare strategy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Many museums charge people for entry while other do not charge any money. There are few advantages and disadvantages at the same time which we will discuss.
7.5
band
Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, a pencil, or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?
Many people are shifting toward technology devices from traditional methods for writing purposes, with its convenience being one of the many reasons behind this trend. This is a positive development from my perspective.
<4
band
some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and befo
I believe that both of the experiences are beneficial, and each of them will bring different outcomes.
4
band
In the past when students did a university degree, they tennded to study their own country. Nowdays , they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
A long time ago learners used to do tertiary school in their orignal country whilst, these days they have more access to study overseas as this have got many benefits such as good standards of living and high salaries.However, they are also demerits of learning in a foreign land as they will be communication barriers as well as cultural differences.
6.5
band
Directors and leaders of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better to have young people as leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days an increasing number of elders run businesses, whereas not many youngsters can be noticed as the leaders of different companies. It's argued that it is beneficial for a society to provide leading positions to a younger generation, as they are more productive and creative. I fully agree with this statement, and this essay will explain why.

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, a pencil, or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and befo

In the past when students did a university degree, they tennded to study their own country. Nowdays , they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Directors and leaders of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better to have young people as leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?