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Band 7.5

Some people think the most important thing about being rich is helping other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people
In recent times,more and more people are becoming wealthy due to expanding globalization, but the most effective wealthy person is assumed to be one who facilitates others at the time of need.
Although
 many might disagree with
this
 statement ,I completely agree with
this
 notion,not only because of dependence among communities and cultural growth but
also
 because of the sense of well being before God.
This
 essay will explore how these factors justify my opinion.
Firstly
,the factor that compelled me to agree with
this
 statement is the phenomenon of mutual dependence among societies.As it is the norms and customs of several nations that well-off people tend to help and support each other to the needy part of the community.Take an example of South Africa,where hundreds of rich people donated billions of money for the welfare of poor ones during the time of crisis.
Thus
,interdependence is a vital factor in societies.
Secondly
,it is considered to be one of the positive trends in several cultures that wealthy people cooperate and assist the poverty-stricken people at the time of need.As
this
 activity will promote peace and equality among people as there will be no deprived person in society.
For instance
,during the cultural revolution in Kenya,high incomed people participated a lot in cultural activities which resulted in,not only support of needy but
also
 promotion of cultural values.
Hence
.helping others is considered to be one of the key factors in cultural growth.
Finally
,almost every community across the world have faith in God.As facilitation of poor and needy will lead to a feeling of contentment and satisfaction which cannot be described in words,so betterment of people is merely possible if rich help the poor. To sum up,I believe that I completely agree with
this
 statement,not only because of reliance on each other and social growth but
also
 because of a feeling of self-esteem after doing
such
 activity.
Submitted by aadidoc508 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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