IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people think that important things in life are mostly free or can’t be bought. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There are numerous
things
Use synonyms
 around us which
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
show examples
 us in one way or another. Many individuals believe that these valuable
things
Use synonyms
 are happiness, love, and success
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are readily available and there is no price to
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. I,
however
Linking Words
, partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 thought, because everything in life does not come
easy
Replace the word
easily
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we shall elaborate view
further
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, materialistic items
such
Linking Words
 as home, clothes or automobiles can only provide temporary happiness to a person,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 permanent contentment is achieved through
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 around us.
For instance
Linking Words
, a parent’s affection for their child is unsurpassed, especially
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 a mother’s towards her child.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these feelings have no measure or limit, and are infinite in both quantity and quality.
Secondly
Linking Words
, love is not confined to a particular individual, and
thus
Linking Words
 it can be found everywhere,
such
Linking Words
 as siblings, spouses, or friends. To illustrate, many people have a strong connection with their friends or siblings from whom they feel loved and compassion after their parents.
As a result
Linking Words
, these emotions are easily accessible
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and priceless.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some
things
Use synonyms
 which have to be earned.
For example
Linking Words
, success is not achieved by relaxing or sitting in one corner
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 in fact, an individual has to work relentlessly and consistently to gain prosperity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, even though these accolades are incredibly valuable, they should not be taken for granted, since
it is
Wrong verb form
they can be lost
show examples
 much
quicker
Replace the word
quickly
show examples
 to lose them.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 asset should be
well preserved
Use the right word
well-preserved
show examples
 and respected. To
summarize
Change the spelling
summarise
show examples
, there are two sides to a coin;
therefore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 significant emotions in life are infinite and unparalleled, I
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 believe, for some
things
Use synonyms
 an individual
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to work hard to procure
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, once earned
these
Punctuation problem
, these
show examples
 feelings are the most desirable and beneficial rewards known to mankind.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your view clearly in the introduction. A clear opinion helps the reader see your stance.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea with a clear link to your view.
structure
Use short, simple sentences to avoid errors. Break long ideas into smaller parts.
examples
Give strong and clear examples that support your point about what is free and what has to be earned.
content
The essay shows a real effort to discuss both sides of the topic.
organization
There is a good use of connect words such as Firstly, On the other hand, To summarize.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • free
  • buy
  • money
  • love
  • family
  • friend
  • time
  • health
  • happiness
  • memory
  • trust
  • care
  • kindness
  • education
  • opportunity
  • security
  • safety
  • life
  • value
  • effort
  • choice
  • joy
  • problem
  • meaning
  • character
  • feelings
  • support
  • risk
  • peace
What to do next:
Look at other essays: