IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
Many people these days wish to
travel
 on a vacation with family, friends and colleagues.
Therefore
, the choices are, whether to explore their own
country
 or
visit
 places outside the
country
. In my opinion, people should explore places and cultures of their own nation and contribute
in
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 increasing tourist count for their nation’s betterment. In the one hand, individuals planning for a holiday needs to pay attention
on
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 the budget required to
plan
 the trip.
Furthermore
, travelling to other states within the boundaries will cost lesser in comparison to foreign trips.
As a result
, visitors can pay more for luxury and can enjoy with minimal
travel
 expenses.
In addition
, travelling less can cause less fatigue and people can
travel
 with more energy and enthusiasm.
For example
, visiting a place that take
f
Add an article
a
show examples
ew hours of journey to reach, rather than spending two days travelling to a place
in
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
abroad.
On the other hand
, abroad
visit
 needs prior bookings and one cannot
plan
 a short trip.
Therefore
, generally
Add a comma
,
show examples
individuals opt for staying
long
Replace the word
longer
show examples
 and explore more.
In contrast
, visiting one’s own nation have the advantages of planning
s
Add an article
a
show examples
hort trip on
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
short notice.
Hence
, it is not required to
pre
Add a hyphen
pre-plan
show examples
plan
 the journey and invest time to decide, whether the chosen place is good enough or not.
For example
, visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Europe requires visa approval, stay bookings and planning, regarding what all places you wish to
visit
. To sum up, travelling to different parts of one’s own
country
 helps to contribute
for
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 your
country
’s tourism and let individuals put lesser effort to
plan
,
travel
 and explore.
Thus
, one must
visit
o
Add a pronoun
their
his
her
show examples
wn
country
in
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 holidays and not
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
abroad.
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
Look at other essays: