IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phone? What form do these problem take? Do problems of using mobile phone outweigh the benefits?

#phone #form
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Undoubtedly, communication through the phone is the most pivotal key aspect in developing industry or a business empire. But telephone has its own advantage and disadvantage, they could be either social, medical or even technical, and can take some serious face. There are different consequences related to
this
Linking Words
 issue. To commence with, a person is judged by the kind of telephone they carry with themselves,
for instance
Linking Words
, if an individual has called up of a well-established business which has a reputation all around the world,
then
Linking Words
 we start to treat them in a superior way. To add on, if the number of medical cases proliferates related to eyesight problem, in which procreator often complaint about their wards excessively using their cell phone to access social media or for the educational purpose.
Moreover
Linking Words
, due to the introduction of virtual payment option, nowadays organisations coupled with local shopkeepers prefer online transactions, which could be a trouble for the human being who is not well aware of the technological advancement.
However
Linking Words
, the social outbreak can lead to some serious thinking in the mind of the person who feels that he has been neglected by the community.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, the scholars who are using their phones frequently for checking out social platforms can choose a path which leads to them to dangerous activities.
For example
Linking Words
, in India, there are minors who do not even know the root cause of the problem, but still, they are taking part in the religious campaign,
furthermore
Linking Words
, sellers can encounter huge loss due to their incapabilities of working with improved technology. To summaries, there is a good possibility that the negative aspects of a mobile phone can dominate its positive aspects. An organisation may suffer losses, as they are dependent on local sellers for their products face value.
Submitted by pulkitkatira on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: