IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for the society. Do you agree or disagree

#people #society
Marriage is the formal union between two individuals. It has been suggested that people should be encouraged to marry before they attain the
age
 of 30.
This
 essay agrees with the suggestion completely because it helps reduce the
risk
 of maternal mortality for women above that
age
.
In addition
, it
also
 helps with active parenting and
follow
Change the verb form
follows
show examples
 up process with child growth if married by 30 years because
p
Add an article
the
show examples
arent would still be active and can grow up with their children. Individuals should be encouraged to tie the knot before the
age
 of 30.
This
 should be widely birth because they are high
risk
, and as
such
 pose danger to their life and the child
Add a comma
,
show examples
they are carrying. Research has discovered that the older you are before getting pregnant the higher the
risk
. Women in Africa above 30, are at
risk
 of pregnancy and childbirth which is of one related causes of mortality.
Also
, people should be encouraged to marry before the
age
 of 30 because it helps parents actively follow up the activities and growth of their children better as opposed
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
training kids in old
age
. Parents at
this
age
 work harder to ensure that the kids are well trained and are involved in their daily lives.
For example
, I gave birth to my son when I was 25 years and till date
Add a comma
,
show examples
I am his private tutor at home because am actively involved in his daily activities. In conclusion, I will suggest that people should be encouraged to marry before the
age
 of 30. It will help reduce the maternal mortality rate as well as
d
Add an article
the
show examples
eath rate of kids at birth. It will
also
 be of great support from parents to their children to be a part of their day to day activities and growing up.
Submitted by oshokzy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fertility
  • Maternal health
  • Psychological stability
  • Social maturity
  • Economic benefits
  • Shared responsibilities
  • Ancestral customs
  • Cultural imperatives
  • Personal development
  • Career establishment
  • Societal norms
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Divorce rates
  • Life decisions
  • Subjective wellbeing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: