Schools should teach children some academic subjects which will be beneficial to their future careers. Therefore, other subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#schools #children #subjects #future #careers #music #sports

There are different debates between students learn academic or

music

and Physical Education. Partners support academic skills, which enhance their competitiveness in future job-seeking. I disapprove the opinion,

this

essay discusses why students should learn it. begin with,

music

lesson can mould their temperament. It is not only beneficial building an optimistic personality

Remove the comma

apply

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but

alos

Correct your spelling

also

deepen their love about life and art. Having PE class could， to a large extent，enhance pupils’ health. and could help students to relax their bodies and ease their mind, which learns how to cooperate and cultivate a sense of teamwork. Experts suggest students should do physical exercises at least an hour every day. Having PE or

music

class，by occupying spare time constructively,makes students contented, with no time for boredom. Education Bureau advocates all-round development of their morality, intelligence, physique, beauty, and labour. There is a saying that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. In conclusion, schools should offer a variety of courses so that the students can have more choices according to their hobbies. Academic study is the best choice for top students who will spend much time on their lessons

instead

of learning melomaniac Physical, while a backward student may good at sing-song or physical . if the course has cancelled, they will lose heart for their future. I think melomania and the physical lesson should keep if life without

music

or P.E students

feels

Change the verb form

feel

show examples

bored.

Submitted by 1339232976 on Wed Sep 09 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

236 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Schools should teach children some academic subjects which will be beneficial to their future careers. Therefore, other subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing, Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe we should protect all wild animals. Others believe it is only important to protect some. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is better to learn the way people lived in past through films and videos records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing,  Do you think this is a positive or negative development?