IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
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Many opioniate that pursuing a
career
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 that provides contentment is far superior
than
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to
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one
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 providing security. While others dismiss the grounds and believe that a secure placement is
Change the article
a
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far way more practical. My belief is that the practicality of ensuring a stable
career
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supercedes
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supersedes
 due to the volatile
job
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 market and rising of costs living.
Firstly
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, the economy has seen a decline in
job
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 openings due to
the
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apply
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Covid
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COVID
 pandemic. Several organisations have resorted to laying off staff due to redundancy and the pool of unemployment has seen a significant rise.
This
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 has led to an imbalanced ratio of
job
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 availabilities to the number of applicants.
One
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 who decides to gain employment based on
job
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satisfaction
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 that the position provides would find it to be a tedious,
ardous
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arduous
 task.
Secondly
Linking Words
, owing to the pandemic, the overall cost of daily
neccesities
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necessities
 and living has seen an increase. If
one
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 is practical enough to ensure a steady paycheck is
recieved
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received
,
job
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satisfaction
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 would not matter as significantly. As the importance of ensuring the household requirements are met, people would not view
job
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satisfaction
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 as a priority. On the
one
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 hand, pursuing a
career
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 that realises
one
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 potential through gainful employment would reap in
seveal
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several
 benefits and encourage employees to go the extra mile. Many surveys conducted have indicated
job
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satisfaction
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 to be of priority for productivity.
Hence
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, happiness is beneficial
ffor
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for
 both employers and employees. In conclusion, while it is vital to pursue a
career
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 that entails
satisfaction
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 the current times that we are experiencing does not allow
one
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 to be choosy. It would be wise to take up a secure position that helps to pay the bills and maybe
along side
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alongside
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,
one
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 could pursue their passion.
Submitted by sanjani_basdeo on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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