IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings, do you think is a good thing?

#people #money #weddings
It is
well said
Add a hyphen
well-said
show examples
 proverb that marriages are made in heaven.It is said by some individuals people spend
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
money
 on their weddings because they want to enjoy it.In my perspective, I personally believe that it is
s
Add an article
the
show examples
heer wastage of spending
money
 on weddings,but some people find pleasure in it.
To begin
 with,There are some people who do not have
money
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but take
l
Add an article
a
show examples
oan from banks and utilize that
money
 for weddings because they want to follow all the traditions customs and rituals to get acceptance in the society.
For instance
, a survey was conducted by Kartar Singh in some of the villages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Punjab and its result was that some of the farmers take
l
Add an article
a
the
show examples
oan on their farms in order to marry their girl happily,but they can give that
money
 to their daughter rather than spending it on marriages.
On the other hand
, some people opine that those people who
Submitted by raman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: