Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games, and other types of entertainment for children’s leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think this problem can be tackled?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Companies involved in the production of electronic entertainment gadgets tend to promote innovation. But

this

Linking Words

may have cost humanity a lot, as their primary clients children

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

have had an adverse effect on them. These indoor leisure activities hamper their brain and make them angry, as well as alone, at the same time. And for

this

Linking Words

reason, their parents are always tensed about the situation.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, promoting external activities is one

such

Linking Words

way that can help in controlling the situation. Not only gaming

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but movies based on action heroes like Iron man and spiderman, are proving to be a nightmare for the parents. Their child’s mental thinking, along with capability, has seen a greater amount of negative impact.

For instance

Linking Words

, a study conducted

last

Linking Words

year by the psychological department of Oxford University revealed that kids these days have become more violent and their respective parents noticed an urge of destroying things in their kids. Prominent reasons for the cause were given as, exposure to online games like Player Under Battle Ground and action movies.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it creates a detrimental impact on a child’s thinking abilities. In some cases, it has

also

Linking Words

been observed that those who were not able to complete their so-called mission in online gaming, experienced a major heart attack, resulting in death. Coming to the solution part, I think we as elders need to be responsible for taking care of our offspring. And one

such

Linking Words

way to do so is focusing on external activities. Emphasising more on outdoor games can be fruitful enough to do wonders.

This

Linking Words

practice will make sure that kids are provided with playing materials that are suitable for their age.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Getting out will not only contribute towards improving their mental health

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but will

also

Linking Words

result in greater physical health.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, these activities will help them in making new friends, and have more people around, evidently, resulting in less trauma and mental issues. To exemplify, countries like Finland and Norway, have introduced a special sports session in the evening for the students wherein they are asked to play games like football and participate in cycling. It has resulted in putting a pause to incidents caused because of violence shown on television and other means of devices. To conclude, there is no denying that multinational brands will continue to lure our upcoming generation just for the sake of getting rich. If not taken care of,

this

Linking Words

habit will ruin our loved one’s childhood. Because of the presence of fighting and violent scenes in entertainment devices, our children may get devastated. But it is us who can bring a change to

this

Linking Words

. All we need to do is promote certain sports events and outdoor activities that make them happy. Keep them interested in

such

Linking Words

events so that at

last

Linking Words

, they make have control over the usage of computers and other modern pieces of equipment.

dipalupadhyay158Thu Sep 10 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

478 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people believe the purpose of education is to make people useful to society. Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the importance of education. However, people hold different views about its purpose.
7.5
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Experimentation on animals is a normal method to assess medications, products, and services, among other technologies used nowadays to satisfy our humanity's demands. Nevertheless, these practices involve aspects between the moral line of the good and the bad. The aforementioned notion arises because some people object that animal experimentation should be removed whereas scientists need those methods to make discoveries and in the future find solutions to the biggest problems. In this essay, I answer the question of whether these methodologies justify the use of living organisms and which alternatives can be given from my knowledge and experience.
7
band
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
There is no doubt that most adults spend the majority of their day all work. Thus, it is extremely important that their job is both a reward and fulfillment. I will examine these factors related to job satisfaction and how realistic these factors are.
6.5
band
Some parents believe that they should protect their children from doing any mistakes while others believe they should make mistakes freely. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that children should be protected by their parents from making any kind of mistakes, while others believe that allowing them to make mistakes is the best path for developing offsprings. This essay agrees with the latter point and will show that, despite the protection from mistakes helps develop a sense of responsibility, learning from blunders boosts problem-solving skills.
6.5
band
Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is common for organisations to have seniors as top executives. However, in the contemporary era, many people argue that young individuals are better to instead of these older leaders. In my opinion, I completely agree with this view.

Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, video games, and other types of entertainment for children’s leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think this problem can be tackled?

Your opinion

Some people believe the purpose of education is to make people useful to society. Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Some parents believe that they should protect their children from doing any mistakes while others believe they should make mistakes freely. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?