People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. what are the causes of this problem? How to overcome it?

There is no doubt that a majority of the people have been workaholic by the work culture of
the
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modern society.The argument goes with that very few people are capable of maintaining a balance between their profession and personal life and a lot of the working professionals are finding it difficult to achieve the balance.
This
essay discusses two of the reasons for
this
issue and the ways to mitigate
this
problem. One of
the
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an

It appears that the phrase integral part may not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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integral
part
Change to a plural noun
parts

The singular countable noun part follows the quantifier One of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of individual being working hard is the largest priority given for the career progression and job prospects.
This
is due to the effect of
p
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the

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romotion cycle which the
under performer
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underperformer

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have to prove his ability and achieve the
next
higher position.
For instance
,a
japanese
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Japanese

It appears that the word japanese may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

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magazine
release
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releases

The plural verb release does not appear to agree with the singular subject a japanese magazine. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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an article that
the
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80
percent
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per cent

The spelling of percent is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of
w
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the

The noun phrase workforce seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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orkforce are rewarded by their long working hours by stretching during the night time.
Furthermore
,the employers are pushing employees to finish the target before the deadlines to increase
the
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productivity.
Consequently
,the force from upper
mangement
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management

The word mangement is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

directly replicated to the
low level
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low-level

It appears that low level is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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associates to work even on
weeknds
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weekends

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to hit the target. The most crucial solution to ameliorate the stress in the working environment and to achieve work-life balance is by providing various employee-friendly facilities for them. Child care and free cab facilities are some
the
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iniatives
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initiatives

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where the employees can benefit from their employers.To illustrate,a number of corporate multinational companies already started giving these option to their workforce.
Besides
,the leave policy can be modified to include more vacation leaves per year in order to spend
a
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apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun time in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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quality time with their families.
For example
,
japan
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Japan

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has introduced parental leave to take care of the
new born
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newborn

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to improve the bonding between the parents and baby. In conclusion,two of the main causes of the individual spending more time on work is their attitude to grow faster in the career ladder and the
employers
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employer's
employers'

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force to finish the project without escalation.
However
,
this
can be reduced by the
employers
Change to a genitive case
employer's
employers'

It appears that the word employers should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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innovative leave policies and employee-friendly facilities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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