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Band 6.5

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

#cultures #children
In a family, parents often tensed about their
child
's future. With that in mind, they always told them to give your best to achieve goals, but sometimes it will adversely affect the
child
's mind.
This
 essay argues on both sides and provides a detailed analysis. Telling the
child
 to
work
 hard for their goals hold some benefits that will give them the motivation for continuous
work
 and inspire them by sharing real-life experiences. For achieving the goals, students have to concentrate more on their studies and make a daily schedule.
For example
, a person preparing for the entrance exam with their college or school studies has to give extra time to their studies regularly.
Also
, children's experiences the hurdles coming in their life. It is not always mandatory to get a positive result, there are many ups and downs in life, but we have to be patient and
work
 without any interruptions. After considering the advantages, the drawbacks now merit some meaningful discussion. Always trying to persuade the
child
 to
work
 hard will give not only tension but
also
 a potentially massive distraction. As a
child
's point of view, they are always trying to
work
 hard but pressuring them to do more will give stressful results. Sometimes, they cannot overcome the negative consequence and quickly get depressed, which will easily become suicide.
Moreover
, because of family pressure,they will be distracted and can not concentrate on studies properly. Undoubtedly, it's the children who decide how they want to
work
; only hard
work
 doesn't give better results; sometimes, smart
work
 can
also
 lead to good results. After all, it is about the
child
's achievement, so they have to make the decision.
Submitted by AYUSHI on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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