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Band 5.5

With the rapid advancement of communication technology, eg smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advancement #communication #technology #eg #phones #tablets #devices #people
It is evidently observed that there is a dramatical emergence of cutting- edged technological innovation
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,
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especially communication. In some case of societies reckon that
this
 development may take a heavy toll on some social sectors while others advocate that its
favorable
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favourable
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 merits would eclipse the downsides. From my point of view, I completely agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, there are a plethora of reasonable justifications why some people suppose that advances in technology have an adverse bearing on social issues. To commence with, technological gadgets make users especially young generation become
over reliant
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over-reliant
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 on them as the leading edge and up-to-date applications appeal to their attention. To cite an example, some social media platforms
such
 as Instagram,
facebook
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Facebook
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, twitter,.. have
deprive
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deprived
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 youngsters of precious time to surf the internet and communicate with virtual friends as they are too addicted to them, which might give rise to lack of sense of community and social interaction.
Furthermore
, it is
undisputable
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indisputable
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 that in
d
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the
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igital era, people have
p
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a
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roclivity for leading to
s
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a
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edentary lifestyle which might
begets
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beget
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 immeasurable health repercussion
such
 as obesity, cardiovascular disease,… Recently, a rapid
increasing
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increase
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 in the rate of people grappling with obesity along with health problems due to
l
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a
the
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ack of
regularly
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regular
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 exercise.
However
, I am still in
favor
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favour
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 of the idea that technological equipment does wonder for humanity in some sectors.
Initially
, technological breakthrough empowers people to communicate and integrate conveniently and easily all around the world without geographic adversities.
For instance
, some people residing in
f
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a
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oreign country
such
 as students studying abroad can keep in touch with their loved ones solely through tablets or small screen of cell phones.
Moreover
,
t
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the
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echnological gadget can offer every citizen
v
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a
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ariety
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of
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sources of up-to-date information and help them getting access to
i
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the
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nternet. In conclusion,
although
 the advancement of
technological
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technical
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 communication
have
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has
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 certain shortcomings, I strongly believe that they considerably develop some social sectors.
Submitted by Le Bao Chau on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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