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In some cultures, children are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children these messages?

#cultures #children #messages
To begin
, the main reason why children should be encouraged to work hard is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 they need to survive in life. A prime example, a survey
done
Add the auxiliary verb
was done
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 by
S
Add an article
the
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tudent Union of Metropolitan College, 45%
Verify preposition usage
of
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students decide that it is more feasible to accept defeat after failing an exam.
This
 type of ideology is quite shocking because in future when these individuals will come across similar situations, they will not know how to tackle the problem.
Therefore
, it is which they
On the other hand
,
c
Add an article
the
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onvincing young generation that if they work hard enough they can attain anything can have a negative impact on their
health
. To illustrate, an article published by the New Scientist Magazine, focused on
m
Add an article
the
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ental wellbeing of
12-17 year olds
Add a hyphen
12-17-year-olds
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 in China. They discovered shocking results as 55% of the children were suffering from some sort of mental
health
 issues
such
 as stress, anxiety, and depression due to the high pressures from the family and society. Based on
this
 study, it is not unreasonable to assume that when children are constantly forced to achieve something impossible in strict cultures as Chinese, it can lead to frustration and
therefore
, can cause
health
 problems. To conclude from the aforementioned arguments, I firmly believe, explaining a young one to work hard can have positive outcomes
Add the comma(s)
,
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however
, they are
also
 drawbacks to
this
 situation, which can be concerning for their
health
.
Submitted by mehulsharma on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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