In the past, sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win a match or to break world records. These days they are more likely to be motivated by prize money and the opportunity to be famous. What message does this send to young people and how does this attitude to sport affect the sports themselves?

Similarly
like an advancement in the tech field, the sporting aspect
also
revolutionized over the
last
few decades. Before,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
master used to have aimed to break the other sportsman's record, but now the aims of playing game and inspiration have updated with the attraction of fame and handsome presents. In
this
essay, I shall discuss how
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
ongoing changes delivered a pessimistic message to today's youth.
Secondly
, how spirits of playing game affected by
this
progression. To commence with,
this
change has given a devastating impact on a new generation. In another word, the new generation is attracted to being renowned through taking part in competitive sports because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
champions are influencing them for taking
such
a reedy step.
Consequently
, they will become a part of a hilarious story rather than being an example for others. Ultimately, we are at the risk of losing distinct talents.
However
, some
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
lovers eventually obtain their aims, but not everyone.
Additionally
,
this
attitude of the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
person affects a
sport
itself detrimentally to a certain level. To elaborate, if some adroit select to act with
this
attitude, the fun will become a means of achieving fame rather than showing the inherent ability of the person.
As a result
, there will be none sports available in the world
further
that would trigger the dangerous diseases for humans due to the fact that for some
sport
is the activity through which they can maintain they're well being. In conclusion,
such
type of the wrong attitude not only influences the adolescence in the wrong direction but
also
, it affects sportsmanship as well. I would suggest that if parents and the government provides correct guidance to the growing youth on time, the negative effect of
this
trend can mitigate to some extent for sure.
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: