In the past, sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win a match or to break world records. These days they are more likely to be motivated by prize money and the opportunity to be famous. What message does this send to young people and how does this attitude to sport affect the sports themselves?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Similarly
Linking Words
like an advancement in the tech field, the sporting aspect
also
Linking Words
revolutionized over the
last
Linking Words
few decades. Before,
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
master used to have aimed to break the other sportsman's record, but now the aims of playing game and inspiration have updated with the attraction of fame and handsome presents. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I shall discuss how
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
ongoing changes delivered a pessimistic message to today's youth.
Secondly
Linking Words
, how spirits of playing game affected by
this
Linking Words
progression. To commence with,
this
Linking Words
change has given a devastating impact on a new generation. In another word, the new generation is attracted to being renowned through taking part in competitive sports because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
champions are influencing them for taking
such
Linking Words
a reedy step.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they will become a part of a hilarious story rather than being an example for others. Ultimately, we are at the risk of losing distinct talents.
However
Linking Words
, some
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
lovers eventually obtain their aims, but not everyone.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
attitude of the
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
person affects a
sport
Use synonyms
itself detrimentally to a certain level. To elaborate, if some adroit select to act with
this
Linking Words
attitude, the fun will become a means of achieving fame rather than showing the inherent ability of the person.
As a result
Linking Words
, there will be none sports available in the world
further
Linking Words
that would trigger the dangerous diseases for humans due to the fact that for some
sport
Use synonyms
is the activity through which they can maintain they're well being. In conclusion,
such
Linking Words
type of the wrong attitude not only influences the adolescence in the wrong direction but
also
Linking Words
, it affects sportsmanship as well. I would suggest that if parents and the government provides correct guidance to the growing youth on time, the negative effect of
this
Linking Words
trend can mitigate to some extent for sure.
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: