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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, most people lived in small village where everyone knew every else. Nowadays, most people live in the large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?

#people #village #cities #area #community
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When infrastructure and municipality are not yet developed almost
people
lived
Wrong verb form
live
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 in small
town
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towns
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. At that time, everyone knew each other. But now, most
people
 leave their hometowns to live in the big cities because big cities are growing where they only know their
neighbors
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neighbours
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.
This
 essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
this
 trend. On the one hand, there are several reasons why living in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 countryside
beneficial
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is beneficial
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. A common reason is that
people
 can communicate with each other thoroughly and can help each other easily.
Therefore
, significantly reducing theft or other types of crime.
In addition
, when in the countryside, because one house can look after the other, sometimes you go out without locking the door, the windows are always open to make the house more airy.
This
 would be unimaginable in a big city. Another cause can be that privacy.
This
 is very difficult to do in the city, where being looked down upon and overheard is almost natural.
For example
, have the freedom to move around and choose to share in the community or enjoy quiet, private time.
On the other hand
, there are a number of disadvantages of living in a village that
people
 should take into consideration. One of
obvious
Correct article usage
the obvious
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drawback
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drawbacks
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 is that there is not much access to education and learning. Explanations, in a city, you choose two or three schools for your children in the area. In rural areas, it will likely be just an option. Another negative effect is that
,
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apply
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 the hospital may not be standard. Details, most small rural hospitals can perform minor surgery but are unlikely to have things like x-ray machines. In conclusion,
although
 living in the
country side
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countryside
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 could bring about certain benefits,
but
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apply
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its negative consequences should not be overlooked.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, adhering to the basic structure of an argumentative essay. However, transitions between points and paragraphs could be improved for better logical flow. Try to use a variety of conjunctions and linking phrases to create more cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt but could delve deeper into the topic by providing more developed arguments and comprehensive ideas. Make sure to elaborate on each point with clear explanations and detailed reasoning.
task achievement
The use of examples is good but limited. To strengthen the essay, incorporate more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will help to demonstrate a full understanding of the topic and show the ability to apply concepts to real-life scenarios.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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