Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #women #role #men #country’s #police #force #army #kinds #jobs

There is no doubt that, currently, female soldiers are recruited in many countries globally.

However

, it is often thought that they are not fit for

this

profession as they are physically unable to perform like their opposite gender. In my opinion, I firmly believe that there is no need of

geneder

Correct your spelling

gender

discremination

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discrimination

because every human has equal capacities, but it may vary according to the amount of training they have been undergone. On the one hand, supporters of restricting females from working in an armed force argue that

this

job requires a physique which can able to do strenuous activities.

In other words

, they may be asked to go war frond or work in

extrem

Correct your spelling

extreme

conditions.

For example

, women

warriers

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warriors

are often posted on high altitude or in deserts as a part of their

misssion

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mission

such

as Kargil or Thar desert.

In addition

this

, many worried about the safety of these troops since they require to work along with a macho sub-culture, where they may experience an abusive environment.

Nevertheless

, opponents of the above- argument point out that there should not be any gender discrimination in any field of employment. To come out from the patriarchal society, girls should take

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extra effort to counteract

the

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male dominance.

For instance

, Margret Thatcher, a former British Prime minister,

she

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showed that a girl is equally good at handling defence problems, sometimes, even better than their counterpart. Her skills often

under estimated

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underestimated

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and

under valued

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undervalued

show examples

, but she proved that how

skillful

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skilful

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she was in her career, and set an example for

othres

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others

as well. By viewing

the

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both sides, I personally think that separating one gender from doing certain works is unjust and unlawful. In conclusion, our society has

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ifferent view on whether entering females in armed force is good or bad. I think by giving

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extra training and safety measures they can

also

join any field.

Submitted by Sal on Mon Sep 14 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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