The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars?

In contemporary society, it has been a growing concern that people are using more private motor vehicles as compared to the past for their convenient travel. In the following paragraphs,
this
essay will
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
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both
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
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and solutions of
this
phenomenon.
To begin
with, there are several reasons behind
this
issue.
Initially
, the increase in car emissions on the roads leads to air pollution, which is dangerous to our environment and contributes to global warming.
Moreover
, the polluted atmosphere is
also
a cause of many health risks
such
as skin problems,
lungs infection
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lung infections
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and so on.
Additionally
, the significant increase in the usage of
four wheels
Correct your spelling
four-wheel
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vehicles is
also
a primary reason for traffic congestion.
Due to
the fact that the parking spaces are reducing day by day. To tackle
this
issue, there are several measures can be implemented.
Firstly
, to mitigate
this
concern, the government should promote the public transport system by reducing fares or improving travel facilities.
In addition
to
this
,
by
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apply
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using alternative modes of transportation like bicycling, walking, or carpooling for shorter distances,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is good for their health as well. Individuals can achieve two goals at once, which aligns with the concept of "killing two birds with one stone". 
To conclude
,
although
there are more benefits of using a personal vehicle to travel from one place to another, people should not ignore its harmful effects on the environment.
Consequently
, to diminish
this
issue, in lieu of using fuel consumption cars, individuals can use electric or hybrid cars.
Submitted by simran31788 on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument, such as mentioning specific cities where traffic congestion is a significant problem due to increased car usage.
coherence cohesion
Clarify the transition between discussing problems and solutions to make the essay more fluid. You could use linking words like 'furthermore' or 'in contrast' to improve flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing the problems, solutions, and a thoughtful conclusion.
task achievement
The essay comprehensively covers both parts of the task by discussing the problems caused by increased car usage and providing potential solutions.
task achievement
The language used is varied and mostly accurate, and there is a good range of vocabulary related to the topic.

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