IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Both governments and individuals are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitat. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as pevert and health care. To what extent do you agree?

#governments #individuals #amount #money #animals #habitat #society #pevert #health #care
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There is no doubt that the amount of money which spend on
p
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rotection of wild animals and their territory.
However
, that expenditures could be addressed to solve some of the public issues in the communities. I completely disagree with the idea that all animals have rights as humans and they are crucial for environmental balance. The main reason why I disagree with idea that, spending should be cut off is
because
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that
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 the lack of habitat for millions of species can result in the extinction of some species and in an ecological imbalance.
In other words
, having imbalance around the world, which derives from destroying natural habitat, can cause to increase considerably in global warming as there are not enough trees to absorb greenhouse gases. To illustrate, protecting trees by spending money can help to prohibit climate change in the near future by reducing the amount of carbon dioxide in the air. Another point to consider is that
,
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apply
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 all living creature on the earth
have
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has
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 rights as well as people and we have a responsibility to protect those creatures
in
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on
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this
 planet.
That is
 to say, all of the animals and natural habitats should be taken care at the same degree because biodiversity is essential for the well-being of the planet and people should be encouraged to create funding for protecting
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the
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cosystem.
For example
, people can develop breeding programmes for endangered species and organise guards to decline illegal hunting or poaching since they are
m
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the
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ain reasons for declining numbers. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement is that reducing
a
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the
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mount of spent money
for
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on
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 preserving animals
an
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apply
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their habitats can disrupt the balance of the ecosystem and their rights should be protected.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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