Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Most of the people in the society have a belief that some
children
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who have been an offender for a crime should be penalized. Others believe that behalf of them, their
parents
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should be
got punishment
Verb problem
punished
show examples
. It is worth when discussing both views and in my opinion, I believe that giving a penalty to
children
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for their
wrong
Fix the agreement mistake
wrongs
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is
beneficiary
Correct quantifier usage
more beneficiary
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than penalizing
parents
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. On the one hand, many people in society believe that the youngsters who are been offenders for their offences should be
got
Verb problem
apply
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punished.
Then
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they would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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panic to repeat
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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behaviours.
Furthermore
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, It would be a chance to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
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crime
happening
Change preposition
from happening
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once again.
For instance
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, when a boy
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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caught by his
parents
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for stealing money and he is punished by them, he understands the guilty and he will never do the same misdeed.
Therefore
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, punishment for a wrong is a must to themselves.
On the other hand
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,If the
parents
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were punished
instead
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of
children
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would
be shared
Wrong verb form
share
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a negative message
to
Change preposition
with
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the culture and the new generation
will
Wrong verb form
would
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not panic to
perform
Verb problem
commit
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crimes.
For example
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, if a child does not have a penalizing for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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guilty
Replace the word
guilt
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, he does not take it seriously and other teenagers in the community
also
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get a negative attitude
to
Change preposition
in
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their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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.
Hence
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, it would be
a possibility
Replace the word
possible
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to increase crime
within
Change preposition
among
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teenagers. In conclusion,
although
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some people have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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thought that penalizing
parents
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for
Use synonyms
children's'
Correct your spelling
children's
offences
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
suitable.I believe that
children
Use synonyms
must be punished for their misdeeds.It would be an advantage to
Add an article
the
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community.Because it gives a contribution to the growing youth in the public.
Submitted by gayan1990227 on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on whether children or parents should be punished for children's crimes. The opinion is clearly stated, but the development of ideas could be more thorough to enhance task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transitions between ideas are generally smooth, but more varied vocabulary and sentence structures could improve coherence and cohesion.
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