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Band 5

The responsibility to prevent global environment damsge is on politician than individual. Do you agree or disagree.

#responsibility #environment #damsge #politician
Nowadays,
w
Add an article
the
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orld is differing from one major
issue
that is
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 damage. Most people argued that
environment
issue
 relates to politics .policies and implementation only can decide the way to overcome
this
issue
. But I believe only politicians and their work cannot safe the
environment
 from
damaging
Change the form of the verb
damage
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. People need
a joint efforts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a joint effort
joint efforts
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 to control the factors which harm surrounding.
Firstly
, global warming is increasing day by day due to access use of vehicles. People tendency to buy on
c
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the
a
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ar has increased on large scale from
l
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the
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ast decade.
Secondly
, consumerism, enhance the purchasing capacity of people to buy unwanted things that leads to
develop
Change the verb form
developing
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n
Change the article
a
the
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umber of factories. These factories are
b
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the
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iggest cause of air pollution.
Thirdly
 people throw garbage on roads. In result
Add a comma
,
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a heap of litters has been noticed all
round
Correct your spelling
around
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 the street which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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 devastate the
environment
.
Politician
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A politician
The politician
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 can solve the problem alone. They make
law
 and policies so that wastage from industries can be prevented to deposit in the river.
Moreover
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,
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they can make the
law
 against having more than one vehicle in the family. But people
also
 participate in
such
 programme and policies so that these policies and
law
 would implement completely. Without the positive gesture to these norms
Add a comma
,
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no obligation and
law
 can be successful.
Politician
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A politician
The politician
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 should have to make
l
Add an article
a
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aw against motor vehicle so that there will less number of vehicles on road and people should obey
these
Change the determiner
this greenlaw
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greenlaw
Change the capitalization
Greenlaw
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 for benefit of
w
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the
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hole society. To conclude,
e
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the
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nvironment is damaging on
alraming
Correct your spelling
alarming
 pace. Only
law
 cannot protect
s
Add an article
the
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urrounding. People will have to work to solve
this
issue
 jointly with lawmakers.
Submitted by Mahesh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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