IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Children now adays spend a great deal of time watching television, however, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool which is why children are less well- educated today to what extend do you agree or disagree.

#children #adays #time #television #book #tool #well-
Minors in today's time of age are indulged in watching visual media rather than gaining knowledge through books as a learning medium.
This
 is the reason why they are not as educated as children used to be in the previous generation. In the following paragraphs, I will state my reasons and explain as to why text manuals are more helpful to nurture a child's learning abilities. At the outset, I would like to bring out the important factor of grasping proficiency in any subject, which is concentration. It is very easy to lose focus if an adolescent is trying to study via television media; because there are certain things involved, like images, videos, animations which makes a kid's brain to think about another
irrelavent
Correct your spelling
irrelevant
topicirrelevent
Correct your spelling
topic irrelevant
 topic.
This
 makes them lose their concentration and
also
 waste time.
On the other hand
, the traditional method of learning; which is by the means of books, is highly effective to excel in any module. Gaining education by the route of texts
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 makes the basic foundation of a child's education stronger. It helps them maintain their focus all through the study time and boost the power of subject imagination, which will definitely result in asking relative questions.
However
, studying with the use of electronic media is helpful but not for those who are below 12. It is statistically proven that learning any subject through visual media is fruitful only when an individual is in their teenage.
Therefore
, I support the fact that learning via books is way superior to a television
Submitted by mirza_asad12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: