IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #business #company #organization
It is true that many people believed that running their own employment is more beneficial than working under a company or organization. While there are potential drawbacks of starting their own business, I would argue that
this
 is largely a beneficial development. On the one hand, the main disadvantage of starting their own production is the risk of failures and wastage of resources. By that means, for starting any work a person needs a huge budget and even after that
Add a comma
,
show examples
there is always a risk of failing in the business because they don't have necessary experience and skills.
For example
, many famous actors after retirement, spend their savings to start their own business and sometimes they fail tremendously and facing bankruptcy.
In addition
 to that, there will be always a limited growth in a career if a person decided to work for a private company or organization.
Conversely
, there are some advantages to beginning their employment.
Firstly
, a person will be independent to make their own decisions and can take risks without any pressure. They do not need to worry about failures and can take steps according to the situation.
For Instance
, when steve jobs started Apple company, he made many decisions and changes
initially
 to survive in the market.
Furthermore
, an individual can production with flexible hours.
Therefore
, people no need to struggle under pressure from the boss and can work
accordingly
 to their schedule. In conclusion,
although
 there are downsides of running own employment, yet I believe that the benefits of
this
 strongly overweight the drawbacks.
Submitted by sa613m on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: