IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

children spend a lot of time on playing computer games rather than sports. What is causes? Is it a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the advent of technology, computers have gained a lot of popularity amongst all the age groups and
that is
Linking Words
 why these days children commonly sit in front of computers to play games
instead
Linking Words
 of sports. According to me, there are several factors behind
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, playing computer games compared to sports is more of a disadvantage.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 modern era, parents have a hectic schedule in both personal as well as professional life and
hence
Linking Words
, they cannot pay much attention to their children.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, they try to provide them with all the facilities and gadgets under one roof but restrict outdoor activities.
For example
Linking Words
, my cousin brother and his wife are working and always prevent their children from going outside for security reasons.
Secondly
Linking Words
, children spend 6 to 7 hours in school and extra tuition for 1 to 2 hours and
therefore
Linking Words
 they get
m
Add an article
a
show examples
eagre amount of time, which they prefer to spend at home playing games on electronic devices rather than going and playing out.
Moreover
Linking Words
, nowadays playgrounds are very less and sometimes children have to travel a lot to reach the same.
However
Linking Words
, playing games on computers can weaken the eyesight of children, which may slacken their growth in the study.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, there is no physical activity involved while playing on gadgets and
thus
Linking Words
 it may cause harmful diseases
such
Linking Words
 as high blood pressure and heart attack. Though, digital games sharpen the mind of children very rapidly compared to other games.
Besides
Linking Words
, it increases their intelligence quotient. In conclusion, it is true that nowadays children spend much time on computers to play games rather than sports which is primarily due to security reasons as well as lack of parents’ time.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, playing games on the computer may hinder the holistic growth of children though it sharpens their mind.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: