Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays, many students have been
chosing
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choosing
reputed universities as
g
Add an article
a
show examples
uarantee that they will find
a well-paying jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
well-paying jobs
a well-paying job
show examples
in the future. I do not agree with it,
this
essay will explain why traditionally
univerty
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university
can not ensure a high salary to theses students in the future.
Firstly
, it is comprovaded that
a
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apply
show examples
career success is a result of the
determination
of
profissional
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professional
. It is much more important than a
diplom
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diploma
, some
profissionals
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professionals
has never studied in a
university
. As an example, Steaven Jobs, because of his
determination
he earned more than a diplomated from Cambridge and he did not have any graduation. How well
remunared
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remunerated
the individual will be is more related to his own
determination
than a famous
university
. Other reason why I
belive
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believe
show examples
that the
university
does not
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
a high salary is because of job experiences which the student will be
requeried
Correct your spelling
required
. Some companies, especially the biggest one, only hire professional with more experiences related to the position. The students which spent most of their time only studying and do not
practing
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practising
what they have learnt will be in
desadvantage
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disadvantage
disadvantaged
with other students which worked on unpaid jobs while they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
at
university
,
such
as
voluntaree
Correct your spelling
voluntary
volunteer
and internship jobs. Actually, the theory is not the most important for the workplace but the
pratical
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practical
knowlegment
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acknowledgement
which the student has. In conclusion, it is proved that study in a reputed
university
is
not
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no
show examples
guarante
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guarantee
guaranteed
that the student will find a well-paying job. The
determination
to looking for more opportunities along with their experience in
worplaces
Correct your spelling
workplaces
workplace
have more impact under how well
remunarated
Correct your spelling
remunerated
these students will be in the future.
Submitted by dandara.garcia on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • university major
  • high paying careers
  • long-term satisfaction
  • fulfillment
  • factors
  • potential
  • income
  • passion
  • interest
  • success
  • job satisfaction
  • transferable skills
  • balance
  • personal interests
  • financial stability
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