Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Nowadays, many students have been
chosing
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choosing

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reputed universities as
g
Add an article
a

The noun phrase guarantee seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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uarantee that they will find
a well-paying jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
well-paying jobs
a well-paying job

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun jobs in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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in the future. I do not agree with it,
this
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essay will explain why traditionally
univerty
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university

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can not ensure a high salary to theses students in the future.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is comprovaded that
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun success in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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career success is a result of the
determination
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of
profissional
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professional

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. It is much more important than a
diplom
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diploma

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, some
profissionals
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professionals

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has never studied in a
university
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. As an example, Steaven Jobs, because of his
determination
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

he earned more than a diplomated from Cambridge and he did not have any graduation. How well
remunared
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remunerated

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the individual will be is more related to his own
determination
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than a famous
university
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. Other reason why I
belive
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believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that the
university
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does not
means
Change the verb form
mean

It appears that the verb means is incorrectly used with the helping verb does. Consider changing it to the base form.

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a high salary is because of job experiences which the student will be
requeried
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required

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. Some companies, especially the biggest one, only hire professional with more experiences related to the position. The students which spent most of their time only studying and do not
practing
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practising

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what they have learnt will be in
desadvantage
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disadvantage
disadvantaged

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with other students which worked on unpaid jobs while they
was
Change the verb form
were

It appears that the subject pronoun they and the verb was are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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at
university
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
voluntaree
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voluntary
volunteer

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and internship jobs. Actually, the theory is not the most important for the workplace but the
pratical
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practical

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knowlegment
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acknowledgement

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which the student has. In conclusion, it is proved that study in a reputed
university
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
not
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no

The word not doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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guarante
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guarantee
guaranteed

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that the student will find a well-paying job. The
determination
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to looking for more opportunities along with their experience in
worplaces
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workplaces
workplace

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have more impact under how well
remunarated
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remunerated

The word remunarated is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

these students will be in the future.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university major
  • high paying careers
  • long-term satisfaction
  • fulfillment
  • factors
  • potential
  • income
  • passion
  • interest
  • success
  • job satisfaction
  • transferable skills
  • balance
  • personal interests
  • financial stability
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