IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In most countries, the crime rate is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

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In lots of nations, it is more common to find criminal cases in the city than in the countryside. The cause is the large population in urban
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 which causes friction between communities to occur more frequently. The solution that can be offered is the development of rural
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and more
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 so that the urbanization phenomenon can be handled Conflicts that happen between different people usually lead to violence, especially in
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 where there are many groups from distinct backgrounds that are not only cultural but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in terms of their social class.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, recorded crime cases are always higher than those recorded in suburban
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Take Jakarta
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, every year people move to Jakarta with the aim of earning a bigger income.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, not everyone is lucky, there are some who are even unemployed and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ultimately results in social inequality which creates the potential for crime. The most reasonable suggestion that can be given to overcome
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 problem is to make people in rural
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 get a better quality of life.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they don't need to go far to urban
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to
try
Add the particle
try to

It appears that the verb make should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

show examples
 make a better living. Another solution is to build more
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 so that the increase in population
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 urbanization can be evenly distributed and not accumulate in just a few towns.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the construction of a new metropolitan area other than the national capital can spread a country's population evenly across its respective provinces. In conclusion, the cause of the problem is the huge populace in urban regions which causes contact between communities to happen more regularly. The arrangement that can be advertised is the improvement of country regions and more
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 so that the urbanization marvel can be dealt with

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task achievement
Start with an engaging introduction that clearly outlines the problem and sets the stage for the essay. This can help grab the reader's attention from the beginning and provide a roadmap for what's to come.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that this idea is clearly stated at the beginning of the paragraph. This will help in maintaining clarity and focus throughout your essay.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and provide relevant examples to support your points, demonstrating a good level of task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into distinct paragraphs which helps in maintaining the flow of ideas. This contributes to the coherence and cohesion of the text.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population density
  • economic disparities
  • unemployment
  • anonymity
  • law enforcement
  • economic desperation
  • vocational training
  • community programs
  • drug prevention
  • conflict resolution
  • community policing
  • surveillance cameras
  • predictive policing
  • social cohesion
  • recreational programs
  • support groups
What to do next:
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