IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#information #technology #aspects #lives #home #leisure #work #activities
Technology
 is expanding its wings faster than the speed of light. Humans are heavily dependent on
i
Add an article
the
show examples
nternet of things (
IOT
Correct your spelling
IoT
). Smart devices are able to encroach into our homes and personal spaces. Many people believe that getting closer to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
technology
 is helpful while others think that it has many drawbacks than positive impact. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
 and negative sides of
this
 domination and conclude
this
 essay with my opinion. Human beings are using IT accessories for every activity, they required
Add the particle
to
show examples
do in a day.
For instance
, cellphones are bridging the gap in communication around
w
Add an article
the
show examples
orld. Despite the
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
, One can talk to family and friends anytime from anywhere. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 health concerns are growing, fitness watches are helping us to curb the gap in the fitness regime. Its
supereasy
Correct your spelling
super easy
 to calculate the calories intake and heart rate. It was almost impossible to keep many folks working during the
pendemic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
 without
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
technology
Replace the word
technical
show examples
 support.
However
, someone is paying the price of
these advancement
Change the determiner
this advancement
these advancements
show examples
 and resulting in
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 harmful
development
Change to a plural noun
developments
show examples
 for
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society. As
technology
 is growing, we as human are less connected in person and lacks many important people skills. The astronomical increase in usage of internet is resulting in fake news and division in the society. Lynching is common
phenomonen
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 in many developing
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, as humans are relying more on
m
Add an article
the
a
show examples
achine they are becoming lethargic and it leads to many life
threathning
Correct your spelling
threatening
 diseases. A study by MIT
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
 that as we use more smart machines we are
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
 attention span and
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 easy to distract kids. By comparing both sides of the argument, I believe that, If we as humans, can find the optimum amount of relationship with the
technology
, its beneficial for us.
Submitted by ajain16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: