IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism is increasing day by day in nations. What are the affects on environment by tourism and what are the solution to curb these problems?

In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 era,
due to
Linking Words
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 advancement and
accretion
Correct article usage
the accretion
show examples
 of inter-countries connectivity
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
increasing
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exploration across the globe. It is growing rapidly.
However
Linking Words
, globetrotting has myriad benefits to the economy. Correspondingly,it has negative impacts on
surroundings
Correct article usage
the surroundings
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
depletion
Correct article usage
the depletion
show examples
 of natural
resources
Use synonyms
. The plausible reasons with reference and solutions will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. To open the deliberation, what are the
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
 on
habitants
Correct your spelling
habitats
show examples
? The first tenable aetiology is,
With
Change preposition
That
show examples
 the enlarging number of conventional travel poses potential threats to many natural areas in the world
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 depletion of local
resources
Use synonyms
,increased pollution, discharges into the sea, natural habitat loss and so on.
For Instance
Linking Words
,
This
Linking Words
 industry generally overuses water
resources
Use synonyms
 for hotels, swimming pools, golf courses and personal use by
tourists
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can result in
degradation
Correct article usage
the degradation
show examples
 of
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In drier regions, like the Mediterranean, scarcity of drinking water is of particular concern. Because of the hot climate and the tendency for
tourists
Use synonyms
 to consume more
drink
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
show examples
 when on holiday than they do at home. On the paradoxical
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
, owing to
, Impacts
Correct your spelling
the impacts
 of travel on
Environment
Correct article usage
the Environment
show examples
 , the government should take regulatory measures
promote
Fix the infinitive
to promote
show examples
 touristry without harming the climate. They should implement strict
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
 to avoid sewage. Authorities can
also
Linking Words
 collect
enterance
Correct your spelling
entrance
 fees from
tourists
Use synonyms
 and tour operators for conservation activities.
Additionally
Linking Words
, environmental awareness can
also
Linking Words
 be helpful, when
tourists
Use synonyms
 are brought closer to tourist attractions , they develop a heightened awareness
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those areas. To illustrate, Monument Valley Tours will take
tourists
Use synonyms
 through a kind of landscape
while
Linking Words
 explaining the history and traditions of the area. The tour helps visitors gain a new appreciation and brings them closer to Natural
resources
Use synonyms
. To Recapitulate, It has pros and cons simultaneously. It has immensely influenced our economy. It has adverse
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 on habitat too
such
Linking Words
 as degradation of lands, scarcity of natural
resources
Use synonyms
,
air
Correct word choice
and air
show examples
 and noise pollution.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
necessary
Add an article
a necessary
the necessary
show examples
 blend of cure will mitigate the problems.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
ministry
Add an article
the ministry
show examples
 should take
stricted
Correct your spelling
strict
 actions to safeguard the surroundings despite hampering the touristry.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by using clearer transitions and ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that is supported by details.
task response
Refine your introduction and conclusion to clearly articulate the main arguments of your essay. A strong thesis statement would guide the reader better.
task response
Provide more detailed examples or explanations for your points, particularly in regards to the negative impacts of tourism on the environment and the effectiveness of proposed solutions.
task response
The essay identifies both the positive and negative impacts of tourism, showcasing a well-rounded perspective.
task response
The use of specific examples, like water resource depletion in the Mediterranean, demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • ecosystem
  • degradation
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecotourism
  • overcrowding
  • resource management
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • renewable energy
  • infrastructure
  • waste management
  • environmental impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: