IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #computer #effects #children
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Computers are essential for human beings in day to day life.Excess
usage
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 of
computer
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 can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 children which leads to multiple problems
such
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 as visuality problem and back problems. I totally agree with the above statement.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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 children
has
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have
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 been very much addictive to computers which lead them into several health issues.Studies
says
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say
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 children those who
use
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Use synonyms
c
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the
a
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omputer frequently have more chances of poor
eyesite
Correct your spelling
eyesight
.
For example
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 , I am a school teacher in high school and I have seen many students with
spects
Correct your spelling
aspects
 in their early age
,
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apply
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when I asked them the reason for it most of them replied that they used to watch /play more on computers.
Moreover
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,
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high
usage
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 of
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c
Add an article
a
the
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omputer at
e
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the
an
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arly age of childhood will
also
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 children's brain.Overview excess of
usage
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 can be dangerous for
e
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the
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yes of the children. Lots of children are having back
pain
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.The
majore
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major
 reason for back
pain
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 at
e
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an
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arly age is sitting without any support or excess of sitting without any support which leads them into back
pain
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.According to Dr Jhon of St. Michael's hospital back
pain
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 cases has been increased in kids at present compare to
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last
l
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the
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st decade.
This
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 shows how badly it effects.
Moreover
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Add a comma
,
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computer
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
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 internet connections which means they can connect to anyone and can watch anything which is quite not good for children. To summarize ,
h
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the
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igh
use
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 of computers are bad for children's health and growth.Eyesite and back problems can be caused by
e
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an
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xcess of
usage
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 of
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c
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the
a
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omputer.In my views,children should not
use
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Use synonyms
c
Add an article
the
a
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omputer
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 but they can
use
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 it
certianly
Correct your spelling
certainly
 because
computer
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 knowledge is important in
this
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morden
Correct your spelling
modern
 world.
Submitted by Mustafa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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