IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #scale
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The environment has now become one of the most serious
problems
Use synonyms
 that humans have to deal with.
While
Linking Words
 some people argue that these
problems
Use synonyms
 should be solved globally, others think it is better to handle them on a national scale. In my opinion, I believe
countries
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 should work together to tackle these
issues
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 of the environment. On the one hand, there are some reasons why each nation should address its environmental
problems
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.
Firstly
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, a similar type of environmental problem in different
countries
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 often has varied causes.
For example
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, Australia faces the challenge of land degradation mainly
due to
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 over-grazing, yet Indonesia’s degraded land is caused by deforestation.
Therefore
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, those nations might plan appropriate solutions independently.
Furthermore
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, each country has its priority at various
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
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 of development.
While
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 developing
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as some nations in Africa are prioritising clean water supply, industrialized nations,
for example
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, China and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States are more likely
concerning
Change the verb form
to be concerned
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 about air and traffic pollution.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the alternative suggestion of facing environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 globally
seem
Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
show examples
 more likely to be effective in practice. One obvious example is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the issue of global warming which has a detrimental impact worldwide.
Therefore
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, collaboration and agreement among
countries
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 in the world are needed to tackle it. Another consideration is that some developing
countries
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 may lack
Correct article usage
the experiences
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experiences
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experience
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 and techniques to handle environmental
issues
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 effectively. If developed
countries
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 can help to provide technology or funding
supports
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support
show examples
 to those developing
countries
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, the process of dealing with environmental
issues
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 would be much quicker. In conclusion,
although
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 it may seem easier to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental
problems
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 nationally, in practice, dealing with these
issues
Use synonyms
 would be more effective when working on a global scale.
Submitted by hariskamal29 on

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task response
For task response, the essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the given prompt. The writer discusses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported, and there is a good use of linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • sovereign rights
  • Paris Agreement
  • climate change
  • ocean pollution
  • collective measures
  • economic interests
  • political will
  • enforcement issues
  • free-riders
  • tailor-made solutions
  • transboundary pollution
  • resource constraints
  • global frameworks
  • national efforts
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