IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Spending on advanced computer systems by authorities is very beneficial for development but many oppose this trend. do you agree or disagree.

#computer #systems #authorities #development #trend
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Any
work
Use synonyms
 these days are done by using computers. Authorities and government officials are
also
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 started working on advanced computers. Online services made everyone to adopt
this
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 culture, but few people oppose
this
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 trend. In my thought, working on computers is inevitable these days and I completely oppose those who oppose
this
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 trend. Before
this
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 modern era, all official notes and documents are written on paper.
This
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 is comfortable for some people who are used to it, but there is a lot of chances to lose them because of different events like disasters, attacks and accidents. Introduction of computers at
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work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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 changed working
time
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 and style a lot. We can enter the data easily and it will be stored in servers or in
c
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the
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loud which is impossible to destroy. Data will be accessible to anyone, anytime, at anyplace. These qualities left no choice to all authorities and workers than get used to computers. Few people oppose strongly
this
Linking Words
 computerisation. They believe spending
time
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 advanced computers to the authorities are killing the working spirit, authorities have a chance to spend a lot of
time
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 on other activities than working actual
work
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. They
also
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 specify that
,
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apply
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 using these computers are expensive, doing paperwork is cheaper affordable. I don't agree with them because they are completely wrong. There are no reports indicating that
work
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 rate or productiveness is decreased after
i
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the
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ntroduction of the computers, actually, they are in reverse. Productivity and security of data
is
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are
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 increased all these after authorities started working on computers. These days maintaining computers are not at that expensive, they became cheaply affordable for anyone so, no need
w
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to
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orry about financials. To conclude, working on computers is a necessary today and it is a very good and comfortable way to
work
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, you can't change it. So spending
time
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 on computers by authorities is necessary and inevitable.
Submitted by dheerajsudarsanam on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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