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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think personal happiness is closely related to economic success, while others believe that it depends on other factors. Discuss both views

#people #happiness #success #factors
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People have different views about
happiness
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, many people believe that personal
happiness
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 is
o
Add an article
the
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utcome of having lots of
money
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, while other people think that delight of people relies on other causes.
This
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 essay will consider both points of view. On the one hand, there is a popular thought that the
happiness
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 of people depends on the high income due to many reasons.
Firstly
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, people could buy whatever they want. Economy success brings inhabitants a better life because it helps people to improve condition living.
Secondly
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, thanks to a lot of
money
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 that people can develop themselves. To illustrate, parents usually want their children to learn places in which have a good education,
therefore
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 young people with much
money
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 can go to developed countries
such
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 as America, France, and so on to learn in the best schools.
Furthermore
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, they can get good jobs with a higher salary after graduating.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that they feel happy with other things rather than
money
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 due to several causes. The
first
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 point is that relatives are very important to people. Obviously, when people face difficulties, the family is a place that people can share and help each other. The
second
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 point is that the times and clearly,
money
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 does not buy
time
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. There are many young people who spend a lot of
time
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 playing and partying, and
as a result
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, they lose perfect
time
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instead
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 of using it to study more interesting things around themselves. In conclusion,
economy
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economic
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 success brings
happiness
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 for people because they can purchase anything as well as they can use to develop themselves, whereas other people think that family and
time
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 are important to be a happy life.
Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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