IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#smoker #places
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Medical studies have shown that smoking not only
lead
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leads
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 to
h
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a
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ealth problem for
s
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a
the
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moker
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 people afflict passive smokers.
As a result
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, many believe that smoking should be prohibited in populated areas.
Although
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 there are arguments on both side, I opine that forbidding people to smoke in
o
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the
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pen area is
m
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the
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ost appropriate course of action. Smoking, that has taken more lives than we have ever thought, that can cause severe diseases like cancer of lungs, mouth and throat. It works as a stress reliever for temporary but it has lead millions of people to distress and anxiety.
Moreover
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, there has been evident medical proofs that clearly mentions that passive smoking is equally dangerous as active smoking.
Thus
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,
one
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 smoker
near by
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nearby
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 may cause detrimental health effects to everyone. A typical example, statistics
shows
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show
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 that 67
percent
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per cent
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 of smoker perish from
one
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 or another
smoking related
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smoking-related
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 illness.
In addition
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, If public smoking is banned, people will not be able to smoke in work areas or roads.
As a result
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, they may reduce their nicotine intake as they do not have
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the
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ption to smoke while working or walking.
In addition
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, children’s mind
are
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is
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m
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the
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ost innocent
one
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, they always imitate whatever their elders are doing.
Such
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 that, in case of banning public smoking they will not see much smokers unless there is
one
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 in their home, that will reduce
f
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the
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uture smoking population.
However
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, bars and pubs would suffer or may go out of business due to
less
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fewer
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 customers.
Also
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, few people consider smoking as
m
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a
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atter of freedom of choice, and enforcing
this
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 law might cause disruption in their mindset. In conclusion, No business is above
h
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the
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ealth of people.
Such
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 that making smoking illegal in public only brings benefits.
Submitted by Nirbhay on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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