Government should reduce their investment in arts, music and painting. Agree or disagree.

These days, the
government
spend a large part of its budget on arts, music and painting. Many
people
argue that the money
spends
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
on it should be decreased in the amount. I disagree with
this
statement and believe that it is as important as spending on other services. There are various reasons that support, the
government
should not decrease the amount of budget allocated to these areas.
Firstly
, arts, music and painting help to give a glimpse of a country's culture and traditions to tourists and young
people
of the country. It is true that
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
from
such
exhibitions and promotions are really low to support its survival,
therefore
, without the help of the authorities, the survival of
such
theatres is impossible.
For instance
, museums in New Zealand are fully financially supported by the
government
and
people
can visit these
places
without any charges.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
majority of tourists visit these
places
and learn about their culture and traditions.
Additionally
, for many
people
especially older age, attending theatre and dramas is a source of entertainment. They love to visit these
places
for fun and enjoyment. A reduction in the financial help to
such
places
can lead to its closure.
Moreover
, the support from the
government
can help talented
people
to come forward and become famous.
For example
, South Indian
people
are well known for painting and the painter of the famous 'Monalisa' painting is
also
from South Africa. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial help to these
places
can help to know the culture and traditions of others and
also
help talented
people
by giving
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
platform to perform.
As a result
, the governments should not stop helping financially in
such
places
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

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A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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