IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government should reduce their investment in arts, music and painting. Agree or disagree.

#government #investment #arts #music
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These days, the
government
Use synonyms
 spend a large part of its budget on arts, music and painting. Many
people
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 argue that the money
spends
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on it should be decreased in the amount. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and believe that it is as important as spending on other services. There are various reasons that support, the
government
Use synonyms
 should not decrease the amount of budget allocated to these areas.
Firstly
Linking Words
, arts, music and painting help to give a glimpse of a country's culture and traditions to tourists and young
people
Use synonyms
 of the country. It is true that
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 from
such
Linking Words
 exhibitions and promotions are really low to support its survival,
therefore
Linking Words
, without the help of the authorities, the survival of
such
Linking Words
 theatres is impossible.
For instance
Linking Words
, museums in New Zealand are fully financially supported by the
government
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
 can visit these
places
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 without any charges.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 majority of tourists visit these
places
Use synonyms
 and learn about their culture and traditions.
Additionally
Linking Words
, for many
people
Use synonyms
 especially older age, attending theatre and dramas is a source of entertainment. They love to visit these
places
Use synonyms
 for fun and enjoyment. A reduction in the financial help to
such
Linking Words
places
Use synonyms
 can lead to its closure.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the support from the
government
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 can help talented
people
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 to come forward and become famous.
For example
Linking Words
, South Indian
people
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 are well known for painting and the painter of the famous 'Monalisa' painting is
also
Linking Words
 from South Africa. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial help to these
places
Use synonyms
 can help to know the culture and traditions of others and
also
Linking Words
 help talented
people
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 by giving
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
platform to perform.
As a result
Linking Words
, the governments should not stop helping financially in
such
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places
Use synonyms
. Click here to view the Score guide. GRAMMAR AVERAGE WRITTEN DISCOURSE GOOD SPELLING AVERAGE CONTENT GOOD VOCABULARY AVERAGE FORM EXCELLENT
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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